Wednesday, April 18, 2012

a parting gift

This weekend I had a small cauffufle at the doctor's office with Silas. It was 1pm. I hadn't eaten since that handful of almonds just after breakfast. I'd already had to feed that kid twice since arriving at the office. My hands were full of medicines and growth charts and that heavy baby. Not to mention that half the waiting room was occupied staring at what was apparently the most interesting thing in the room...Silas and me. We had been waiting almost an hour to have his blood taken outside the crowded door of the "samples" lab.

People kept pushing the door open and rattling off in a language I can't yet understand. I was trying to wait patiently outside for my turn but I didn't understand the line-up system. I'd made several attempts at kind intervention to the attendant on our behalf. To no avail. My patience wore thin. And finally when I was usurped once more by an asian, I lost it. All those gawkers in the waiting room knew I lost it too.

We were very quickly ushered into the samples room.

I'm starting to see that having a baby in tow presses in on my patience here. It presses in on a lot of me, in fact. Rickshaw rides are more harrowing. The heat more oppressive. That pinching neighbor a bit more overwhelming. Maybe it's another round with culture shock. Maybe it's the 105 temps. Whatever it is, I seem to be losing it a bit more frequently of late.

I have been reading bits of Keep a Quiet Heart throughout my days this week. The worn pages seem always to bring a fresh word. I stumbled across a chapter in which Elliot used the NEB translation of a verse I've heard hundreds of times. I love the word picture it gives.

Peace is my parting gift to you, my own peace, such as the world cannot give. john 14:27

The words were spoken only hours before His crucifixion. Peace as a parting gift. Parting gifts are the kind you put a lot of time, thought, intention into, are they not? And as he prepared for his death, the gift was peace.

In the midst of all that presses in on me here, in the midst of all that presses in on you there...the gift remains. It is ours in Christ.


Lee said...

Laura! you have been through so much physically and emotionally. One moment at a time and no more, my friend! Having a helpless newborn to care for brings out so many vulnerabilities I think --mostly bc you are constantly in the presnece of someone so vulnerable and your drive to nurture and protect is probably in HIGH gear. i'll be praying His peace goes with you and that He surrounds you with his favor as with a SHIELD!

Linz said...

aww sis. this was such a good word. thans for sharing. love you so much!

ps i think those reactions are normal. Im not even in that kind of heat and getting hot bothered me soooooo much before and after i had J.

Shannon said...

Great post Laura! It prompted me to pull out my copy of Keep a Quiet Heart and read a bit. This is what I stumbled upon:
"may we not let slip any cross Jesus may present to us, any little way of letting go of ourselves, any smallest task to do with gladness and humility, any disappointment accepted with grace and silence. These are His appointments."

Praying you will continue pressing on (with the Lord's help) when Life around you is pressing in!