Tuesday, May 22, 2012

a huffy momma

This week Jude turns 2. Wow.

The season is bringing with it a lot of the hilarious, more and more of the sweet and thoughtful, and a whole lot of energy.

Alongside that energy enter some crazy scenarios. Jude, perched atop the sofa, diving for balloons. Attempting to ride a friend's scooter...down a hill. Collapsing on the marble in a dizzy stupor. Repeating my words loudly no less than 5 times, just for practice. Banging his head on a concrete wall (I'm assuming) so he can know what it feels like.

In a span of a few minutes, things can get just plain wild. And in a few short seconds, this momma can get huffy.

You know what I mean, right? Jude is furiously spinning in the kitchen. I am tripping over him trying to make dinner. Spinning has not hitherto been forbidden. It's not a sin, it's just a 2-year-old thing to do. I'm in charge of the kitchen but I don't tell him to stop. I just get all huffy. "Jude, I wish you wouldn't do that." Sigh. Huff. Glance in den for husband to intervene.

Wishing he wouldn't do that and saying it in a huffy way isn't the same as giving him concrete directives. Bend down. Look into those deep eyes. Speak. "It's time to stop spinning. Come with me to your toy box."

Now if the spinning doesn't stop, it's an obedience issue. 2 year old disobedience is more simply (though perhaps not more easily) corrected than unfulfilled wishes and huffy words.

It's not fair to 'suggest' to a little guy who doesn't have the ability to catch innuendos or perceive attitudes rightly. (Let's be honest, most of the time it would be better to take the same approach with my poor husband. He prefers direct communication also:)

But I am a woman. And indirect seems direct. I tangle emotional with concrete. The problem is, the results are usually nothing more than an eruption of huffing and no correction of the problem. So, as 2 rapidly approaches, I have some growing up to do. Less huffing. More loving discipline. I don't want to leave a huffy legacy to this boy of mine.

I'd better grow fast...because, thankfully, I doubt the spinning & jumping will stop any time soon:)


staceyb said...

What a great word Laura! Thank you for writing these helpful thoughts down.

Lee said...

I cannot tell you how often Josh and I have had this kind of conversation. He has to remind me that the indirect stuff isn't going to cut it with a 3 year old. Or with a husband! It just doesn't usually pay to communicate with subtext in these situations yet I still have trouble learning to do otherwise. And I find that the quicker I am about going to directly to the issue, the better. Rather than wallowing in a little bit of a frustration first and waiting too long before actual addressing anything. Thanks for a good word as usual Laura!