Tuesday, June 19, 2012

brooking disappointment

Yesterday we discovered that the embassy in Thailand won't issue the type of visa we need for Silas.  We weren't sure we were understanding their broken English.  But in the end, we did.  Call travel agent, and re-route those tickets. We'd just scored a cheap room a few yards from the beach as our post-visa vacation.  We'll have to cancel.

Within a few hours, we also received word that Jude will need a corrective surgery. We'll be wading through the monsoons tonight to trek across town to the hospital.  We were hoping to take care of this in Thailand, where things are a little more gleaming.  Not the case any longer.

I felt disappointed.

We were excited about the time away. No spicy foods, only Thai goodness. We were grateful that the dates were working out so that we could handle the medical aspects. We were ecstatic when we got that cheap reservation on the beach.  But plans change.

Yesterday morning on my run, just before all these little details began to unravel, I had Piper in my earbuds.  The message was from James.  And he was speaking about the admonition James gave to men who planned out their ways in arrogance. They ought to have said "If the Lord wills..."

God prepared my heart with truth.  It was very kind. He saw the disappointment before it was upon me.

Consequently, when those disappointing phone calls came, when the stream of emails that unravelled our well-made plans poured in, truth rang in my ears.  God is sovereign over visas and surgeons.  He already knew about the cancellations and hiccups.  All the plans were under the category of "if the Lord wills," and He very graciously reminded me of that before they fell apart.

I am finding that one of the deepest helps in brooking disappointment is trust in God's absolute sovereignty over these little details and large details. He planned my days before time began. And His care is wise and perfect.

I am thankful.

Because life feels just a little out of control these days and I love truths that stand above my feeling.

And now that day is over and we're here again, making our plans and re-scheduling our appointments, with a very fresh awareness that we ought rightly to include that one little line about our tomorrows...

...if the Lord wills.  


Laurin said...

Oh Laura. I greatly needed to read these words and am greatly encouraged. Praying.

Willis Family said...

Hope all is well with sweet Jude. Praying for you all!

Glen and Bethany said...

Thank you for the encouraging and faithful words! I am disappointed for you guys, too... Trusting with you that He has something better.

Justin and Bonnie said...

Encouraged by your perspective Laura, but also disappointed with you. Asking that He will lead you beside still waters even though you will not be able to sit beside that beach.