You know the saying....if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. And if you haven't ever used it, you've probably at least experienced it. Having been married only 5 years and a mother for a little over 2 of those, I still feel the "newness" of the position frequently. One of aspects that continues to amaze me is the influence that comes with the package. By simply waking up and giving myself over to a bad mood, I can sway the whole tone of our household significantly. If I tarry long in sin and sulkiness, gray seems to drip into the air of our family.
Last week when we arrived in Nepal, I had a hard time recovering myself. At 2am we woke up to a fierce mosquito who fought his way into the net. By 3:30am we were preparing to leave for the airport. The trip was long and I didn't pack any breakfast. Silas woke up feverish with another tooth popping through. Jude was a whir of excitement over the planes and airport tractors. He only napped 45 minutes the entire day. We arrived at our hotel to discover there was no a/c and occasionally, no power for a fan. The sheets were almost dripping from open windows in the rainy season, and they didn't really dry all week. The streets were crowded and muddy. And that 18lb baby felt a little too big to carry. By Tuesday, I wouldn't have called myself happy.
Be joyful always.
Yikes. That was a hard word to think on. There were a lot of annoyances whizzing around that I couldn't change. It seemed like I had a license to be a little disgruntled. But joy and thanksgiving aren't companions with complaint. It's convicting to watch your 2 year old unravel, and know that your own attitude is contributing. He doesn't have the capacity that I have to choose righteousness over emotion. I'm a sort of attitude barometer.
Thankfully, God is a relentless pursuer of His children and His Word kept pouring through, changing and re-making my mind. Thankfully also, I have a husband who dwells in thanksgiving and intentionally pursues joy. Sunshine behind my clouds:) It was a good reminder to me of the influence He's entrusted to me. An influence He's intended to bring joy.
Here's to a more intentional decision to live joyfully, to teach joy to these little people who are watching...muddy streets or not!