Friday, September 21, 2012

Being Content

Silas is in the grabby hands phase.  Your face, your food, your phone...anything and everything that is in reach.

Jude is really a sweet brother.  But, let's face it, he's a little sinner. Sharing isn't in his blood.  So we're working on learning how to relate to a brother who now plays with toys. Jude has grabby hands too, reflecting some deep waters in that little heart.

I've been wading through how to instruct and discipline and love in the middle of toy-grabbing and block-tower-shoving. I haven't figured it out yet.

One thing I did this week was write a few short playtime verses on a card and put them on the fridge.  Show honor to another above yourself.  Be content with what you have. Um.  Jude doesn't really seem to be 'getting' those quite yet, but it's a better use of my words anyways than what I might say otherwise when correcting for the 20th time.

That was really all a preface to the point of this little post.

Enter Laura.

After almost a year in asia, there are still areas I'm just making the tiniest baby steps forward in.  One of those areas is friendship.  It's hard.  There are a lot of unspoken rules.  A lot of time constraints.  No mom groups at church or Bible Studies with childcare so I can actually talk rather than chase.  And the honest truth is, I am lonesome for some good gals in my world.  I miss my friends. This is a hard season of life to start over with friendships.

I've been feeling a little sorry for myself this week.  Wondering what I need to do to move forward in this.  Thinking through ways to bridge the cultural gap.  I kind of feel like I'm 13 years old and just started at a new school.  

But since I'm 32, not 13, I know that this will pass.  In another year or two, some of these baby friendships in my life will be friendships with history and more cultural understanding. A year or two after that, I'll be crying at the thought of leaving this place, where roots have gone down deeper and love has done the work of sweet friendship. It always happens.  No matter how often we move, it happens. But it always takes longer than I would like.

So in the midst of the growth, what do I do?

Sigh. Wish for home. Complain to David.  Shed a few tears.

And then I walk past that little note I posted up on the fridge, the one intended to instruct my 2 year old on how to interact with others.  Show honor to others. (Or think constantly about how much you need to from others?)  Be content with what you have. (Or throw aside the deep friendship and companionship of those in my own little home and grab for more, more, more?)

It did my heart good to read those words last night.  To let them sink into my own grabby hands.  Out of contentment and genuine interest in others, I have something to give not take.

The miracle of the gift of contentment is that nothing circumstantial is very different, but springing from that blessed heart change, everything changes.


Nickolee Roberts said...

Is it wrong to be thankful for your honesty? There's a part of me that feels guilty for breathing a sigh of relief in reading about your life. You always remind me that there are others who are struggling to put into action all of the Truth we know. That just because we're living in a foreign land doesn't mean our weaknesses get magically stronger, but rather they seem to be more apparant as the days go by. Know you are prayed for and you are such an encouragement to me. Keep pushing, keep running, keep those eyes focused on Him - He will bring us through!!

Katharine said...

great post

Joanne M. said...

Laura, you are a gifted writer but more than that you have a heart to bring glory to HIM. No matter what pasture we lady "sheep" find ourselves, we have a deep need for friendships/fellowship. God just made us that way...relationship oriented. I am in another season of life than you and in familiar territory and yet I too have times of loneliness. It's those times when I think of HIM saying "All have left Me, and yet I am not alone for the Father is with Me." And He always is.

Those boys are just getting cuter all the time. Know Linda and Bob are going hold them tight as much as they can while they are with you.

amanda and bear said...

Oh Buddy! This makes me miss you even more! I'm praying for you. Know there is a void in my life for this kind of friendship too.