Monday, December 29, 2014

life overhaul

We are scheduled to be in the US for around six months.  It is a part of our contract that every 3-4 years we get an extended time to reconnect with family and friends.  We have a few other responsibilities too (which it seems will involve a bit of travel!).  There are a variety of purposes for the time away from our international life.  One of them is to help step back from the work we do, reassess and equip ourselves to move forward.

When you pull back from a life that you are very much a part of, you begin to notice the gaps.  I think this is a really healthy and necessary review, particularly in our lifestyle.

Even amid the busyness of this past month, I've been taking note of some of those gaps in my own life. Physically, spiritually, intellectually…I have some work to do.  There are ways that I need to move forward and progress in each of those areas to maintain a healthy and useful life in years to come.

David and I had our first dinner out together in (we think) about 9 months this past Friday.  Our babysitters in South Asia were away, we were in the midst of moving, we've been having serious family fun, etc.  Oh, it's good to be back in the land of grandparents!

Hubs is a great counselor to me.  It's one of the things I loved about him long before we were headed toward marriage.  He just gives good advice.

One of the things we've been talking about is this awkward place I find myself in.  I see some changes I would like to implement in my daily habits.  In stepping back, there are gaps that are more visible to me now. And yet…I have to be honest about where I am.  I'm 7 months pregnant. My body is slower, not faster these days. I am waiting for our 3rd son, taking care of a family, and traveling enough to need recovery time in between trips.  We are way out of our normal routine in Asia.  We are in a transition season….a big transition season.

It's not really the time to overhaul my life.

And I need to see that, and recognize it.  Because, let's be honest, expectations (even of myself) can make or break a season. As my very helpful husband pointed out to me, my Father sees this season  also.  He sees me in it. This is not the time to implement a 4 hour a day prayer plan. Or train for a half marathon.  Or even set large and ambitious goals about Jude's reading skills and Silas's color recognition.

It's a time to wake up each morning in faithfulness.

To do the best that I can with the energy, time and life season given to me in this day.

I've never read this book, but I recall the title quite frequently.  It is better than a life overhaul for me these days. "A long obedience in the same direction." This is the time for long, slow, deliberate obedience. Because mundane days, that don't feel very earth shattering, can add up to a life of focused devotion to Christ.

This New Year's won't find me with a long list of resolutions.  There will be no life overhaul.

But let it be a quiet remembrance of what is good and true.

A face and heart turned toward daily faithfulness. 


Erica Hagar said...

Pretty much inspired by everything you write, just so you know!

Nickolee Roberts said...

just now catching up on your blog and wanted you to know - that yes...all of this - absolutely perfect and needed. the long obedience...i love it.