Friday, August 14, 2015

alive


Hello, friends.  We're alive.

I just found one of Asher's onsie's in the trash can. I feel sure I did it, not the kids. It was supposed to be thrown into the laundry room. I guess "throw" was the only word my brain remembered.

My house helper unexpectedly took off….for five days.  I know, I know.  Poor me.  I didn't have my maid this week.  You feel so sorry for me right? haha.  Give me just an inkling of pity, please:)  Culturally, it would be the American equivalent of your dishwasher, clothes dryer and vacuum cleaner breaking at the same time. (Please note, I am not valuing a person who helps me in the same regard as a machine.  We're talking in terms of work here.)  I've had a few ladies in to help me keep the dust from overtaking us, but rest assured, I want to throw my arms around my house helper when she returns and tell her how grateful I am for her.

Hubs had an amazing opportunity for his business this week.  He met it with all the gusto he could. It meant a whole lot of work though. So we're on the latter side of several 12-14 hour days.

Silas had a school program. The sweet little guy had practiced so faithfully.  But stage fright got the better of him. Mid-song he burst into tears and fled the stage. I love that guy.

Jude is learning about 3D shapes in school.  I don't think I knew what a cuboid was  until that intense homework sheet last night.

It's just been a full week.  Full of friends and healthy work and babies who won't nap and toddlers who wake up at 4:45am for no good reason.  Somewhere in the middle of it though, I started worrying about tomorrow.

How can I go to a school program once Asher is running around? What will I do if I can't find good house help? How can I get all three of those boys out the door on time by myself in the morning? What if this is what success in David's company will always look like? 

And suddenly a lot of sweet moments of kissing babies and loving on tearful toddlers and helping with cuboid homework felt like more than I could handle.

But the today actually wasn't.  Just in the moments, there was always enough. God was giving me grace for every single moment.

The joy-killer was the burden of tomorrow.  All the what-ifs.  The places where I don't yet have the grace for those moments….because the moments aren't here.

So I'm turning the page of my mind over fresh. And I'm praying that I could live today, right here, without all the paralyzing worry over the next day or season.  This quiet moment that will refresh me until the next.  This sweet baby smile that I might ignore in the flurry.  That truly victorious march to the car with backpacks, lunches and three kids in tow. These are the moments I'm given.  There's no promise of tomorrow.

Live today alive.  We're here.  And there is grace for every second.




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