We had our final dinner at Grammar and Pop's before the flight tomorrow. All the cousins the house could hold were there. There was a wrestling match with Pop, games and one of Grammar's famous balloon releases.
David weighed all the suitcases and we are maxed out. Then I realized that Asher's clothes had yet to be packed. I always feel that getting on a plane is a sort of relief. It doesn't really matter what you forgot once you're in the air. You just have to make it work.
Tonight, amid all these goodbyes and suitcases there is only sadness. Excitement is on the shelf. I hate leaving my family. It never gets easier. My little sister's eyes make my heart break. Age is clarifying for me in some ways though. This lifestyle would not be worth it for money, or fame or power. The cost would be too high for me.
I am going because of Christ.
Because I want to walk in the purposes He has for my life. He is worth it. And so, the sadness becomes an offering to the One I love.