I had the morning off of class on Tuesday. Usually, those mornings are spent catching up on all that falls to the wayside while I'm conjugating verbs. It's occurred to me lately though, that I really don't spend as much intentional time with this little two year old as I did the other boys. I'm a multi-tasker, so it always seems so much better to go to the zoo or do an outing when I need to entertain all three boys. But if I run things down that track, the third born will definitely get the left overs of this momma's time.
So we went.
We sat in front of the gorilla cage for a long time. He looked at pigeons and ignored the flamingos. He gave me a big kiss by the monkey swings.
Then, we were standing in front of the pelicans. With their weird beaks and crazy faces.
This past week in particular, I have been battling comparison. Feeling shoved into all kinds of boxes in my mind...what I should be, do, say, how I should dress, eat, pray. Part of it is the necessity of finding a way forward here in this new season we're entering. But another part of it has been so dark and tangled, accusing me of a thousand things that I'm just not.
Someone else said it. I can't remember who.
Comparison kills spirituality.
And friends, it does. I've been battling against it hard lately. It will spread a blackness on your soul.
Anyways, I was looking at a pelican, marveling at that beak and those eyes, when my soul heard the whisper of truth. God made pelicans and ant eaters, flamingos and tigers. Those little ground hogs and prairie dogs, cows and butterflies.
If someone is pushing me into a box or making me feel like I need to have a certain cookie cutter shape of gifting and abilities to be "right", it's not my Maker. He is a God who delights in differences. He gives purpose and place to the smallest ant all the way up to the roaring lion. He created them all. And because of that, there's dignity in all.
Think about a Maker who creates so uniquely and extravagantly . It will take your breath away.
My purpose and yours is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. And that might just look as different as a pelican and an elephant.
I should go to the zoo with Asher more often.